well you can't waste a boner
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
