Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
