nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm at about main and main street
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
