Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
