in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Randomize
