Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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