Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
