I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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