I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize