i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
