is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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