Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Why is there bacon in the couch?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
