maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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