forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
