you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
