Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Randomize
