I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I can't trust your balls anymore.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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