yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize