are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
