This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
