this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I love having hate sex.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
