i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
