I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I lost the right to judge tonight
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
