ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
