I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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