So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
