O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize