Say something about gay babies.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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