Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
