you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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