READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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