How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
