do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
