Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
