If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize