He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
