Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
