wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
