literally had 100 drinks last night.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
