Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
