Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
