I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
