marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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