i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
