she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
