is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
