Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
