did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I wish I only lived at night.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
