So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
