I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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