hell yes lets make some ravioli
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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