Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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