you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
