; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
