Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Randomize
