So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
