Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
