Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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