bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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