john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
